New Quotes On Life

New Quotes On Life

Funny Quotes About Love

Funny Quotes About Love  is often romantic, but a good sense of humor makes it even better. What better way to improve a relationship than by laughing together? Laughter helps improve your mood, and helps us bond with others. One famous saying tells us ‘Laugh and the world laughs with you.

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

Oh yeah, this brings out the worst in people. It’s like the road rage of computer use. If this person you might marry is unruffled by slow internet service, then they are a keeper! If they sigh audibly and show signs of general impatience, that’s ok, no worries there. However if they throw their monitor across the room….run!

Best Funny Quotes About Love:

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

If you watch, you can always see couples tease and annoy each other. Couples are essential playmates. And playmates tease, taunt, and aggravate each other from time to time; it’s normal. Make sure it’s all in good fun and you don’t cross any boundaries with your mate.

 

“If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.” – Fran Lebowitz

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Though humorous, this quote rings quite true. There is something to be said for couples who make it through the first couple of years together. That’s usually when things have gotten pretty real between them. They have traversed through the honeymoon and have a better chance of having a future together.

 

“Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.” – Tommy Dewar

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

If we look at it this way, marriage and institutions have the following things in common – the same roommates for years, being told what to do by someone with authority, and being tied to the same routine every day are all shared traits. Enjoy your stay!

 

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.” – George Carlin

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Exactly. We both come from the same place and the same history. Men and women are part of the human race on Earth. It’s true we have some very significant differences in how we see the world, and how we operate in it. It’s kind of a mess when we’re together but we seem to make it work.

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Women think when they get married that they will have a man that will be their Prince Charming in all ways. If he’s not so much now, he will grow into it, right? Men want women to stay as lively and flirty as they were in the beginning. She can do that with a job and 2 kids, right?

“Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” – Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Sometimes men take a long time to learn about women. By the time he has been married for 20-30 years, a husband should finally understand his wife and satisfy her needs. If your rate of growth is several years after her nagging about the same thing, then you need to step up your game.

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henry Youngman

If there were one secret to a happy marriage, then somebody would probably hold a patent and be filthy rich. Henry indicates that there is no secret to a happy marriage, though we think the secret to a happy marriage changed on a case by case basis.

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller

Yes, a younger man will only be able to see the wrinkles more closely. Better yet, marry a man who is older than you so that he can’t see you age from day one. Or just marry someone who loves you no matter what you look like at any age.

“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” – Natasha Leggero

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Don’t let your partner go with their hair extensions sticking out for everyone to see! On that note, don’t let them walk around with their shirt unbuttoned, their fly down, spinach in their teeth, or a big white pimple on their face. Love is wanting them to look as polished as they want to look.

Best Funny Love Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

  •  Love is sharing your popcorn. Charles Schultz
  • 2 People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. If you liked this funny Bob Hope quote about love, check out all the best
  • Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Anonymous
  •  Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. English Proverb
  •  Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. Judith Viorst
  •  kiss is a rosy dot over the “I” of loving. Cerano de Bergerac
  •  I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth! Chico Marx
  • I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. Johnny Carson
  •  Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. David Sedaris
  •  There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach. Barbara Hower
  •  Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. Will Ferrell
  • If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. Chelsea Peretti
  •  When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged. James Montgomery Bailey
  • Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. Judith Viorst
  •  Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. Joyce Brothers
  • Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. Chelsea Handler
  •  If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. Miles Davis
  • My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. Jack Benny
  •  Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. Jean Kerr
  • My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan! Leopold Fetchner

Funny Quotes About Love

Expressing your affection to the apple of your eye does not need to be too serious! Sprinkle a little humour to make it more memorable for him or her.
After all, humor makes you so much sexier and attractive to your partner! Here are quotes that are 100% spot-on romantic and funny:

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Humans have 206 bones in their bodies. Spare the heart, break the bones instead!

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

I love you like how potbellied policemen are obsessed with donuts and how chubby kids love ice cream.

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Grow old with me. Let’s count each other’s wrinkles as the years pass by. Let’s see who losses all of the teeth and who will need the help of the walking stick first.

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

It is important to see the real character of the person you will marry first before sealing the deal. How? Give him a slow internet service. They say that lag brings out the real you.

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Honesty is an important part of a relationship. If you can somehow pretend to be so, then you are in.

Funny Quotes About Love
Funny Quotes About Love

Love is blind, and then marriage opens your eyes.

 

Make you sure you tell your partner how much you love him every day for you’ll never know when you’ll find somebody better.

For a woman, the first kiss is the start of everything. For a man though, the first kiss is the end of everything.

 

Romantic Quotes About Love

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
Samuel Lover

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.
Unknown

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.
Fran Lebowitz

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Charles M. Schulz

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
Unknown

To keep your marriage brimming; With love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Ogden Nash

There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach

Best Funny Quotes About Love

Love makes the world go round. It’s that one thing every one of us wants to find. Nonetheless, we can’t deny the ugly realities of love. There’s no such thing as a love without pain and suffering. In fact, in order to fully enjoy the fruits of love, one must first experience the hardships that it entails. Do you have a bitter experience about love? Or are you one of the few lucky ones who finally found someone worthy of every love in the world?

Don’t feel down if you answered yes to the first question. It’s never too late to welcome love in your life. Here is my list of the Top 10 Best Funny Quotes About Love that will surely erase your worries and somehow put a smile in your face. Stay hopeful and never forget that true love will find its way to you no matter what.

Just Don’t Look Again

“Love at first sight is cured by the second look.”

Others believe about love at first sight but it is usually a misinterpreted infatuation. Love has a much deeper meaning. It takes years to develop and is best enjoyed when ripe. We should guard our heart and treat love as a lifetime commitment, not just something to have today and gone tomorrow. Differentiating infatuation from true love won’t be easy since majority of great loves start from a simple appreciation. You may first love how she smiles or how she talks and the feeling tends to grow in time until you can proudly say that you love everything about her. The key is to patience. Never rush in falling in love since you might find yourself regretful after finally meeting the one who captures your heart like no one else but can’t do anything about it since you are already tied in a relationship.

The Sad Truth About Marriage

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”

Sad to say, millions of married couples across the country are already divorced while others are discussing about it. What can be blamed for this alarming scenario? Does this prove that love is not meant to last?

True love is bound to last forever. Nevertheless, it fades if not nurtured well. It can be closely described to a plant. It starts off as a weak seedling that needs protection and care but eventually grows to be a strong tree that bears tasty fruits once it reaches maturity. Every couple should stay strong and together hope for a better future. Though marriage is not a seal that can guarantee a lifetime relationship, it should remain as every couple’s goal since this ceremony of love gives birth to commitment, trust, dedication, responsibility, and other important factors that can help lovers withstand any trial that may come their way as years pass by.

Catch Me! I’m Falling for You!

“Don’t fall for someone who won’t be there to catch you.”

It’s impossible to control love and it often happens at times we least expected. To fall in love to someone who can’t return the favor due to valid reasons is a very common story. Yet love is an uncontrollable force which can’t be stopped once it turns full bloomed. The only thing we can do is hope that love will find a way and clear every obstacle that hinders the both of you from sharing a relationship.

Love doesn’t fail but people do. Most of us jump into a relationship thinking nothing else other than the joy and excitement that love can bring. Before we know it, we fall and realize that there’s nobody there to catch us. Guard your heart and keep it safe until you finally find that someone who can help you protect it.

Money or Love?

“What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.”

A lot of us nowadays focus more on work than spending time with our family or loved one. Though it’s good to have a sense of responsibility since surviving without a cent is impossible today, we should learn to prioritize. Money should never be on the top of our list but family, love, friendship, and other things that are priceless must come first. It’s pointless to have all the things money can buy if you don’t have someone to enjoy it with. Everything good is rooted in love so let us all enjoy and share its fruits with others. Have a day filled with true love everyone.

Quotes about love and marriage tend to be very romantic and sometimes a bit soppy. If you are a couple who breaks the wedding rules and likes to laugh and joke all the time, then these super-funy quotes and sayings are the perfect things for you to include in your wedding speech or even on your save the date cards.

Even if it is just inspiration for your relationship, you are going to love these!

  • “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.”
  • “Some mornings I wake up grouchy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.”
  • “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
  • “I love you like a fat kid loves cake.”
  • “I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”
  • “What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.”
  • “An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.”
  • “Marry a man your own age; As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”
  • “The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.”
  • “Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours ain’t.”
  • “Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.”
  • “Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.”
  • “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.”
  • “Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”
  • “Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.”
  • “I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.”
  • “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.”
  • “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.”
  • “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it.”
  • “We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.”
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