New Quotes On Life

New Quotes On Life

Funny Life Quotes

Looking for Funny Life Quote s when you just need laugh?

Many Funny Life Quotes  of the following authors have encountered pretty difficult challenges in their own lives as well. Astonishingly enough, however, they all found unique and brilliant ways to humorously deal with these difficulties. As such, their humorous perspective has allowed them to approach heavy problems with a much lighter and more positive attitude. After all, when you’re not fearful and depressed, you’re a lot more likely to find solutions that help you to work yourself out of the trouble you’ve encountered.

Funny Life Quotes For Changing Life

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite

Life gives people lemons a lot of the time. This quote reminds us to let life’s obstacles pass us by and not to take anything to heart. It’s great when people can find the funny side of a bad situation in life and then share it with other people that are feeling low.

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” – Lawrence Ferlinghetti

It’s true; people can really be too open minded. Gullibility allows people to be easily duped and literally believe everything that they hear. It’s good to be cynical sometimes and to ask for proof if you have any doubt over the truth in a statement.

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers

This is an excellent quote about how sometimes silence can be golden. People can often find themselves talking too much and divulging too much information which they can later regret. So if we ever feel like we’re boring somebody, perhaps we should just zip it.

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.
” – Jarod Kintz

This is not the only quote about life that declares love for animals over people. Considering that they don’t judge or argue with you, it’s interesting to think about the reasons people buy pets in the first place. Essentially they are there to be waited on hand and foot.

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

We’ve all been guilty of procrastination leading to missing or extending deadlines. It seems a human trait to continuously put things off until ‘tomorrow’. At least we’re not alone and even bestselling authors like Funny Life Quotes  Douglas Adams are guilty too.

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

Funny Life Quotes Pdf

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” – Winston S Churchill

Churchill certainly wasn’t afraid to say what he was thinking. To think that the leader of England across two ‘World Wars’ would say this to a woman is a little frightening. Perhaps it’s his sternness and honestly Funny Life Quotes  that helped him to win the war for Britain on two occasions.


Brilliantly Funny Quotes  Life


“Funny Life Quotes  should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!’„
Hunter S. Thompson

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.”
Arthur C. Clarke

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You’d have a chance at least. You could lie there thinking: Well, at least I’m not dead.”
Tom Stoppard

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
Robert Frost

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction – and ultimately, without a major resolution.”
Jasper Fforde

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”
Isaac Asimov

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colin’. Need I say more?”
Chris Rock

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“When I was your age, television was called books.”
William Goldman

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
Chuck Palahniuk

“Sometimes you know you’ve got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn’t so messed up, it wouldn’t be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn’t.”
Nick Hornby

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
Douglas Adams

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
Dorothy Parker

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
Woody Allen

Funny Life Quotes
Funny Life Quotes

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
Albert Einstein

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield

“To get back my youth, I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”
Oscar Wilde

“I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”
Terry Pratchett

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Blaise Pascal

“Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed! „

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
Winston S. Churchill


Funny Life Quotes About:

Believing in our future doesn’t have to be scary, and change doesn’t have to be painful. You are allowed to have fun along the way!

Don’t hesitate to take it easy at times. Smile at strangers, laugh at yourself, and know that you’re free to start over.

I received a request to post some Funny Life Quotes, so I went for it.

These Funny Life Quotes are pretty tame (around 5 – 10 schools have made me aware that they use my blog as a quote resource), but they will surely make you smile!

On our journey towards personal greatness, it’s important that we laugh at our setbacks, slip-ups, and blunders.

Why? That’s because plenty more are on the way. Hopefully, these Funny Life Quotes help us stay focused and stay loose.

Keep them close to help make your journey through life more pleasurable.

Have fun reading!

Funny Life Quotes for Work and Life

1.) “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

6.) “There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

7.) “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley

I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

Funny Life Quotes about life that will motivate you:

“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

“When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” – Sydney Harris

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard


31.) “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” – Mae West


32.) “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison


33.) “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London


34.) “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss


35.) “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Unknown


36.) “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain


37.) “Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer


38.) “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” – Isaac Asimov


39.) “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote


40.) “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

Short funny quotes and sayings about work

41.) “If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.” – Marie Osmond


42.) “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth


43.) “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach


44.) “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Sam Levenson


45.) “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones


46.) “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” –  Woody Allen

More Funny Life Quotes and sayings

  • The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.”
  •  “Dear life, when I said: ‘Can my day get any worse?’ It was rhetorical, not a challenge.”
  • “Cleaning up is just putting stuff in less obvious places.”
  • “It amazes me how much exercise and extra fires sound alike.”


Other Funny Life Quotes to motivate you

  • Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
    – Thomas Eddison
  •  If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? – George Carli
  • If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big. – Donald Trump
  • My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg
  • “You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.” — Sam Levenson
  •  “It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
  •  Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain
  •  “I have to be successful because I like expensive things.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
  •  “Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick
  • I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. – Karan Patel



~Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics. – Author unknown

~When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. – Author unknown

~There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. – Oscar Wilde

~If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. – Author unknown

~Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination. – Christopher Isherwood

~The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. – Author unknown

~An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!” – Author unknown

~When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. – Steven Wright

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. – Mark Twain

~ Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. – Steven Wright

~It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. – Author unknown

~Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter. – Author unknown

~ Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. – P. D. East





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